What do you think about children calling adults by their first name?

This is: 1-for research on cultural norms and he treatment of children, and 2-because I genuinely want to now what people think about this.





My family has no problem with it, and ever since i was young I called my parents by their first name. However, my husbands family (although not my husband, he prefers being called by name) thinks it is disrespectful and that it gives kids a sense of equality. My problem with this is that I think kids are equal to adults, and that too many times people forget this, and i aso think it is wrong to purposely make anyone feel inferior to you.





Many of my friends who live in Europe have no problem beingon first name basis with kids, but I find that many Americans do.





My Question is: what do you think about this whole thing? Would you allow your kids to call you by name? Why or Why not?

What do you think about children calling adults by their first name?
I think it's wrong, and shows a complete lack of respect.
Reply:No i wouldn't


Why, because its disrespectfully. I would never even think of calling my mother or grandmother by there first names. How inconsiderate.....
Reply:I think mom and dad is more of a respect thing. Just how in some other countries you don't call someone by their first name unless they tell you to. You call this person, Ms. Johnson, Mr Smith until they say call me "first name" its a respect thing. If a parent like you feels that your children are equals then that is your choice, but most parents still make decisions for their family, children I feel are equals when it comes to feelings and being human beings things like that, but they obviously can not do the same things as us adults. IDK, I always felt it was more of a respect issue. I call my parents Mom and Dad except if I need to get their attention in public, the same go with my grandparents. They are still grandma and grandpa, unless in public if I need to flag them down.
Reply:For family we stick with the traditional mom, dad, nanny etc. But for family friends we use for women miss and first name and for men just their first name. This started because my oldest child had a speech delay and couldn't pronounce a friends last name, so we just started calling her Miss Sue instead. It still showed respect and it was something she could say. Now when she meets adults she asks if it's OK for her to call them Miss whatever. For some reason this doesn't apply to men though, they just call them by their first names. This is what we're comfortable with and no one has ever complained so I it works for us.
Reply:my culture does not allow children to call adults by their first name. there has to be a prefix of some sort; aunt, uncle, sis, bro, cos, etc.


personally i feel it is OK for them to call adults by their first names because it creates a king of closeness and makes the adult kind of approachable


however in some cases the children take this act for granted and they start to disrespect the adult.





in general it depends on how the child is brought up his or her cultural norms.
Reply:my kids know better than calling me sondra if anyone ask them whats your mommy name.they will say mommy no her other name. i can't tell you. cause she would spank me.


i have to give them permission to say my name. i took me 20 years to be called mom and when they get 20 and older they will always call me mom. or i will spank their butts. they will never get to old for a spanking even if i have to drop them to their knees and bend them over. respect your grown ups.
Reply:I call all adults by their first name. Always have. Except for my parents who are known as "Mom" and "Dad"
Reply:I believe children should put a 'handle' on any adult's name...Mom, Dad, Aunt, Uncle, Mr., Mrs., etc. It is a sign of respect. Yes, children are as important as adults but they still should respect their elders. That is a big part of what is wrong with our world today.....a lot of children have absolutely no respect for authority. I'm 38 years old, but I still use Mr. and Mrs. when addressing an elderly person and I still use Aunt and Uncle when I'm addressing them. And, if nothing else, I find no situation when you should address your parents by their first name. WHY?
Reply:I refer to my parents by their given names because they didn't raise me. It doesn't seem like they are my real parents! I acutally call almost everyone by their first name.


My children ( however invisible they are) would have to call me Momma. When I way little I did call my momma, "Mother May"...but May is not her name...it's a love word like "dear"~~~"Mother Dear"
Reply:l am a mother and tell my childrens friends to calll me by my first name as for them to call me mrs.smith makes me feel really old. With my children they call me mum as l did with mine and so on, when l introduce my children to other adults depending who it is l would introduce them as mr or mrs as this is a sign of respect that l was taught and will teach my children
Reply:I ask adults what they want me to call them if they say thier first name then I'll call them that.
Reply:i think it is ok i call my mother by her name but as for kids feeling that they are equal i don't think calling adults by their first names breeds this but kids are not equal. They can't do what adults do and in the case of family they can and need to tell kids what do.
Reply:in a way some people think its disrespectful in a way becasue there adults and you should call them by what they are to you if there your parents just like my mom tells me but if i had kids i wouldnt mind them calling me by my name because its not a big deal to me !
Reply:I have to agree with your husband's family; I find it to be disrespectful.





Though kids are equal to adults in terms of humanity, they are not equal in other ways. Otherwise, society would allow children to drink at any age or a younger one, and similarly with driving and other examples.





And truthfully, equality is not the issue- respect is. Kids learn respect from their parents, and have to learn to respect the 'parent' position.





I am 34 years old and still call my parents mom and dad. I certainly don't feel they are trying to make me feel inferior; there is 'hierarchy' in life (e.g., boss), and this is something that needs to be taught, appreciated, and respected.





I would actually wonder what issues is the individual dealing with who thinks their parents are trying to belittle them by requiring mom and dad versus names.
Reply:if i was a parent i wouldnt be okay with my kids calling me or thier father by our first names. Aunts and uncles would be Aunt Kathy and Uncle Mike. As for adults it depends on what the adult wants to be called. i dont think it is a matter of equality, at least not to me. Its more about respect and basicially personal preferance in my opinion.
Reply:NO. I believe that kids should know there place. In my young days we addressed all adults by mister/miss along with their last name. I feel that kids are already growing too quickly so atleast by letting them call you in the proper manner will slow that down.
Reply:I think it's disrespectful too. I grew up in a family with military influence and traditional southern family values. I am also retired military. I call most people ma'am and sir when in a professional setting. I don't think it's feeling inferior, I just think you should earn the position of familiarity. You can't impose european values in the US it doesn't translate across the cultural lines. I think it's the choice of the adult however to be called whatever they wish and if they want to be called by their first name then they should make that call and not the younger person.
Reply:I just find it disrespectful for my child to call me by my name. I am, in fact, the authority figure, and we are not in fact equal. However, I don't find "mommy" to be comparable to "sargent" - it's a term of endearment IMO.





As for children using adult's names in general, it varies. Adult relatives are called aunt/uncle [name] or a given nickname. She calls my friends by their first name, as long as they are okay with that.
Reply:Info for your research:


I totally prefer to call my mom: MOM, because that's who she is, and I am "MOM" to my kids.


Personally I would never allow my kids to call me by my first name, maybe it's dumb but I feel that if they call me by my first name, they don't feel that respect that mom has naturally, and yes, I can say: we are not equals, I am your mom I have a reponsability , and moms are repected by that title. Don't misunderstand me, I am not a Hittler with my kids, we have a wonderful relationship, by not being equals I mean that if I set rules, there is direction, there is discipline, there is respect, not only to me but to others. I know that nobody is inferior to others, but I totally respect someone by their Title, Do you call your Doctor.........James? or Laura? Do you think they'll like it? or accept it? If I say no to a permission, I would give my reason to it. And they don't argue with me........why? because I am their mother not a painting on the wall, and I feel that if they call me by my first name......the feeling is different. (this is not my name, of course) They would say: But Maria!!! why not??? c'mon!! see the difference? Disciplined kids don't argue with mom, and repect others.
Reply:I have a 3 and 1 yr old. I was taught to use Mr %26amp; Mrs or Sir %26amp; Maam as a sign of respect. I will not allow my kids to call my husband and me anything other than Mommy %26amp; Daddy (or Mom and Dad as they get older). Their grandparents are called by their nicknames-Oma, Opa, Pop-Pop and Grammy. I have my 3 year old call my friends by either Ms. Lisa and Mr Dave or Aunt and Uncle if we are close. As my 3 year old has an easier time pronouncing last names, we will encourage her to call them by their last names.


I also think people of authority should have a title, such as teachers, police officers, doctors, etc. Today's teenagers(not all, but a lot) have no respect for authority and have gone the extreme the other way. They are punching teachers, flipping the bird to the police and think the world revolves around them. And the minute they get in trouble, they go crying to their parents and their parents are oblivious to their disrespect and attitude. Well I guess that is for another post........
Reply:For the good lord's sake all humans are equal! Being in authority doesn't mean you are more human!!! Some of these answers made my blood pressure go up so high I think i'm going to have a heart attack...By all means, there's nothing wrong with being your child's friend as well as bing the authority, and calling adults by first names...there is NOTHING wrong with that!!!
Reply:I most certainly do not let my kids call me by my first name. My step-kids can call me what they want and unless their other mom is around it is usually Mom. They always refer to me as Mom to the other kids though. As far as equality goes children don't have the mental capacity of an adult to understand the weight of a situation. That is why parents are charged with their care. Having kids call their parents Mom and Dad helps create the authority of the parent. While a parent can create the atmosphere without the title, it can't hurt when they see the other kids listening to someone they call mom and dad too. This hierarchy is needed at least until the child is old enough to analyze a situation and make an educated choice. I hope that by saying that your child is your equal that he/she can go outside and play by himself because he wants to when he is say two years old. Why should he listen when his peer tells him no? He needs an authority figure to tell him no because it is dangerous for him. It doesn't make sense for someone to tell their equal what to do and sometimes a parent has to as in "DON'T TOUCH THE STOVE" when a toddler reaches for the stove. I just don't think it's practical to have our kids as our equals until they grow up enough to make informed decisions.
Reply:I call my mom by her first name. I think it started to happen because I would always go shopping with her. And yelling "MOM!" would make too many people look. So, I started calling her by her first name.


Not with my dad, though.





I would allow my children to call me by my name. It's not like they are strangers. They are my children. Yes, I will be Mom to them always, but they know my name.
Reply:I think it shows lack of respect towards the parents.
Reply:I think there is a respect component but there is also something about being called "mommy", that is what and who I am to my children. I worked damn hard to get them into this world and I want it recognized that I am my children's mommy.
Reply:I can't allow my kids to call me by my name. It shows disrespect for someone older than them. In our country, the Philippines, we have names for different people, relatives or not, who are older than we are. We call our parents papa and mama or tatay and nanay or itay and inay (father and mother) and for the modern parents:mom and dad. We call our grandparents lolo and lola, (grandfather and grandmother) and also for the modern grandparents: papu and mamu. We call our older or elder brother manong or kuya and our elder sister, manang or ate. For uncles and aunts, we call them tio and tia or tito and tita or tiyong and tiyang. For non-relatives we call them as we would our uncles and aunts and our grandparents, depending on how old they are.





Even how modern families are in our country, we never call our parents by their names. Our culture and tradition has been embedded deeply in our minds and hearts that, for us, it is a big transgression calling our parents by their names.
Reply:DEAR MISS





I DO NOT THINK THAT ANY CHILD SHOULD CALL IT





PARENT BY THERE FIRST NAME BUT THIS IS JUST ME





OK





TAKE CARE
Reply:I called my parents mom and dad. And was taught to call other adults by Mr,Mrs, Miss, Mam or Sir unless I was given permission to call them by their first names. I have taught my kids the same. I do not know about the equality thing your husband is referring to but I do feel that it is disrespectful.
Reply:Yeah, most parents think it is disrespectful for kids to call their parents by names. It is not accepted in our country. I do understand your concern and I totally approve with you saying that kids have to know they are equal to adults. Thus, there should be family rules to be obeyed by everybody . Then there will be no problems how the kids call their parents, the most important thing is respect , which can be proven even if the kids call their parents by their names.
Reply:it didnt bother me or my hubby when our children called us by our first names now its mum or dad so still no problem we see our kids as our friends too
Reply:My kids call me mom or mommy (not angel or angelica) and they call their father dad or daddy (not aaron) and they don't use our names because we are their parents - they are children and not equal to adults in maturity or responsibilities. To me calling parents mom and dad is a show of respect and understanding that we have lived through more, seen more, and know more.





I don't mind my children calling other adults by their names but when it comes to me and my husband or our parents the children will not call us by our first names. I still call my parents mom and dad and my husband still calls his parents mom and dad because we respect them as our parents and know that, although we are grown and have our own life, our parents have lived through more and we know to go to them if we ever need help.